HAPPY THANKSGIVING!


Gennee

mood: contemplative

Last night I attended a vigil for Transgender Day of Remembrance. Over one hundred people attended. We marched around the block carrying candles and glowsticks. Some people on the street asked what the event was about. There was a couple of moments of silence after we completed the procession.There were a few speakers and a number of people from the audience spoke of their experiences. I spoke for a couple of minutes sharing my journey as a transgender person. I encouraged everyone to be who they are. Later on, a few folks thanked me for those encouraging words. I met a couple people that I remember from my days in a support meeting a couple of years back. We shared our experiences. One of the ladies is transitioning. I remember as a male crossdresser. One of the suggestions she had for next year is to read names of those killed. It makes the name of that person more personal. It important to attend events like these for solidarity and support.

Gennee

mood: happy

Yesterday, I participated in the Veteran's Day parade here in New York City. It was the third time for me. I wore a long denim skirt, red sweater, and sneakers. I was the only transgender person in the group I was with. Representing transgender people is very important.

By the response of the spectators, we were thanked for our service. Who we were or how we Identified didn't matter. I greatly appreciated that. It was the largest parade in quite a while.

Gennee

mood: happy

It's been a whlie since the last post. Am having some financial issues at present. Have a part time job for now.

Last night and yesterday I read an article about gender and sexuality. The Native-American view of gender and sex and the western view is quite different. Prior to colonization, they were viewed as a gift in many Indian tribes. Sadly, a number of tribes have had that part of their history destroyed. My interest has been piqued where now I am researching two spirit traditions in my tribe (Choctaw).

I will be marching in the Veterans Day Parade on November 11th. It will be my third time doing so. The group that I'm marching with is the only LGBT veterans group participating. I really feel honored representing transgender veterans who have served our country.

Gennee

location: oasis mood: good music: James Danderfer-Sidestepping tags: gender, native american, sexuality, vets parade

I posted my testimony on three different sites. One of te sites was a lesbian website. Responses have been very good. I pray that it will educate and encourage others.The interview that was in the offing fell through. Oh well, there will be other opportunities.

I'm struggling financially right now but trust things will get better. Waiting for unemployment benefits to be released. I have a part-time job right now. Have a couple of prospects lines up.

I'm looking to purchase some fall and winter clothing. Have some great styles this year. There's a lot more sales this year.

I went to my veterans meeting today. A young bisexual grad student attended the meeting. T is doing work about lgbt veterans. The president asked if I would like to do an interview and story about being a transgender veteran. The only drawback is that I would have to use my real name beside my trans name. I have some trepidation about it because not many people know that I'm trans. I'll give her my decision on Wednesday.

My computer is back up so I'llbe back posting again.

mood: happy

I found a part time job as a field representative. My job is to interest children and parents about our tutoring services. I have tutored before and enjoyed it very much. I will be working on commission. This place just opened up in New york two years ago. It is based in Los Angeles.

My computer should be up tomorrow (yippee!).Have alot of catching up to do. I have been going to the library and using the computers there. Can do only my e-mails because my other stuff is time consuming and I want to take my time on the fourms.

Today is warm (near seventy). A cold winter is predicted for the northeast. Haven't had a really cold winter in eleven or twelve years. Ah well, I can purchase more pretty sweaters and tunics and long skirts. Also need a couple of winter coats. That's about it for now.

Gennee

location: library mood: calm music: Love For Sale-Billy Taylor Trio tags: computer, field rep, tutoring

My computer should be back up this saturday. I'm switching from Verizon to Optimum Online. It's a little cheaper plus I get my cable beside internet and phone.

Gennee

mood: happy

My computer is out of commission for the time being. I'm posting this at the library. I'm taking it to the shop later on. Tried to instill an upgrade and now the computer won't start. May not post as frequently. I'll let you know when my computer is fixed.

location: library mood: sad music: Gene ammons-Cheek to Cheek

Last night, I had a difficult time sleeping. When I'm troubled in my spirit I pray. I praised God for all things in my life. I prayed for many people. My wife who was in the hospital for minor surgery and who came home today. I prayed for family members who were not feeling well.

Whenever I pray for GLBT people I do cry quite a bit. I'm not a crier but this really is intense because I am transgender and I see many who are hurting. It gals me when transgender, gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are made to feel less than human by society. I prayed a long time and when I tried to sleep I found that I couldn't. What came to ind was all those people suffering and dying from AIDS. When I thougt of some of the stories I heard from other who lost friends, lovers, and mates, I really start bawling. I had an indifferent attitude toward AIDS/HIV topics until two years ago. Now I'm doing whatever I can to help.

There has been many a night I lay awake weeping and thinking about us and what needs to be done. i always remark that when I came out as TG, I found the family I never knew I had. When things are done to hurt and harm us, it really bothers me. Praying helps quite a bit because I don't have to carry it alone. God knows my heart and loves me.

It was nearly 4AM when I fell asleep. I didn't feel tired with only a few hours sleep. Investing the time i prayer was well worth it.

Gennee

Yesterday, I attended the monthly veterans meeting which started up again after the summer hiatus. I am a member of American Veterans for Equal Rights. It is an GLBT vets group. I went to the meeting in my male clothing. THe members have seen me dressed before. When the leader asked how come I didn't come dressed I said to myself from now on I will come to future meetings as Gennee.

This is another confirmation of my moving more to the TG/TS continuum. My wife and I have talked two in the last month because she sees that I would rather wear women's clothing. A third talk is in order. I'm thankful that she's accepting of my dressing. I think what she may not understand is how deep this is, especially in the past four months. When I identified as a crossdresser, I felt strong kinship toward transsexuals. Now I feel that I am moving towards considering myself a transsexual. I'm not sure at the present time.

The whole point is that I am at peace with the journey I'm on. I'm just going to keep going and see where it leads.

location: oasis mood: content music: Art Farmer-The Happy Blues tags: aver, peace, tg/ts, vets' meeting

It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since that fateful Tuesday morning in 2001. How people lived life was forever changed. I never dreamed that I would see something like a plane hitting a building. I've never been one to say it can't happen here either.

I was supposed to be in the tower that the first plane hit at precisely the same time, but was delayed. I just missed being in the towers when it was attacked eight years earlier. God's hand was on me. I think about all those who lost loved ones, friends, and coworkers. On this day, let's not forget the many, many folks who helped any way they could. There were many unsung heroes that day. Today is a day to remember them.


Gennee

As you I have tried another background. Been experimentaing the past few days. I loved the blue background I kept during the summer. Now that fall is approaching I'm trying to set the mood. Autumn is my favorite season what with the leaves changing colors and cooler weather. If I don't like the present background I'll change it again until I find one that I'm comfortable with.

Gennee

The week has been quiet. I went out a few times. Mostly I read, wrote, and studied some topics about transgender issues. I am writing prose, an essay, blogging, a short story and creating a business.

My wife and I talked again this past Tuesday about how GLBT people are treated by the church and religion. I shared with her that God loves everybody unconditionally. Last Tuesday in bible study we had a discussion about church and the experiences we had. Some had positive, others negative, and others mixed.

One question asked was what is our idea of an ideal church. I believe it is a place that we are comfortable in. Of course there's no perfect church because we are flawed human beings. I shared with my wife that if I had a church EVERYONE is welcome. It doesn't matter who they are or where they came from.

I think as you can see I love to write. I have been contemplating writing some essays and commentaries because it's vital that our stories get out.

Gennee

mood: calm music: Keny Dorham-LaVilla tags: church, quiet, write

Last night I shared more things about being transgender with my wife. It was a conversation that was coming up because she sees me dressed much more often. I was telling her that many transgender folks have known they were this way as children. I mentioned again my feelings of being different throughout my life. She listened intently as she tried to understand what I was saying.

I also shared with her that I can be transgender and Christian. It's my prayer that transgender people will take into account their spiritual condition. I do enjoy having these discussions because it helps her to see what it is to be transgender.

Gennee

location: desk mood: content music: Kenny Burrell-Centerpiece tags: spiritual, transgender

Since declaring myself a transgenderist, I'm totally at peace with my identity. I have been in a comtemplative mood a few times also. I have returned to places that influenced me in my young adult days. My being transgender has made me more aware of even the simplest things. I'm not taking much for granted anymore.

In 1969, the greatest rock concert in history took place on an upstate New York farm. Woodstock is fondly remember by those who attended the rain soaked event on that ouAugust weekend. It was also a time when nearly 500,000 people from all over the world gathered together in peace, love, and fellowship. With the shortage of provisions and inadequate security there were only two deaths. People were in tune with the vibes and music of that glorious weekend.

You may be asking what this has to do with my being a transgenderist? I have found that garden of Eden in places which perhaps I took for granted. An empty church, a river side park and a courtyard have reminded me that I need to get away from all the noise and confusion. It has he a difference. There are many people weary from the cares of daily life. Transgender people are battered around with more venom because we choose to be who we are.

Remember to appreciate what you have. take time and reflect on how far you have. Never minimize anything that happens because there's a purpose in it. Take nothing for granted.

Gennee

tags: eden, peace, reflect, transgenderist

Once again I'm in a reflective mood. This time it's about how to best encourage and educate others. There's so much hurt and emptiness in the TGLB community. A lot of garbage is being heaped on us by the anti-TGLB forces. Still we continue to be ourselves.

It isn't about me but it's how best to serve others. Over the past couple of years I've read and studied about issues that affect us. I seen what toxic religion has done to our community. THis is something I'm helping to combat. God loves TGLB people, too. I expect to be ridiculed more about this as I decided to be more open about myself. I have a desire to speak with religious institutions about what it is to be transgender and a Christian.

Here I am a person in their sixties who wants to be more active. I'm thankful for the events that led me to this point. I suffered a massive heart attack a few years back and survived. I was given another chance. Many people need a chance to be themselves and be encouraged. This is very important to me.

mood: contemplative

Today, I went into the city. I was wearing a navy short sleeve pullover, light blue floral print skirt and blue flats. I went into a church that I go to when I want to be by myself. I often go there to pray and rest. Spent about an hour there before leaving.

I went to the community center to have lunch. I picked up some reading materials then ate my sandwich. TLGB center are struggling financially all over the country. I'm praying that the center here will manage without too much curtailment in basic needs. It was a dry breezy day. We finally got a break from the hot muggy weather and poor air quality.

I returned to the church again around 2pm. You may wonder why I mention this place. It is where I had some very intimate times with God. I pray much for TGLB community and praying that we'll will be like equals some day.While I was praying an elderly woman touched my elbow and said 'may your wish be granted'. My heart was thrilled by her words. I left the church around 4PM.

While I was waiting for a train, a man was trying to hit on me. He asked where I lived, am I married, and so forth. I was pretty cool about it. I was polite and took the attention in stride. Sometimes I think maybe I pass too well.

It was an interesting day. There will be more like this, I'm sure.

Gennee

mood: happy

Hi everyone. My wife came home from the hospital, today. She's much better and getting bed rest. I'm checking on the medicine she takes. Quite possibly she's had a reaction to a couple of them. She was taken off one medication because she broke out in a rash.

Yesterday, my wife and I celebrated our birthdays. She's 65, I'm 61. Bought her a turquoise skirt. Am going to take her out to dinner when she's able.

I have been able to get out at night a couple of times. One desire I have is for my wife to go out with me when I'm Gennee. She's not open to it but maybe some day she will be.

mood: contemplative